How to Let Go of Your Ex By Traci McCaughey
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Realize that this is something that has to happen whether you understand why or not. And this is something that may be completely out of your control, especially if you are not the one ending the relationship.
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Though everything you do and everywhere you go will remind of your lost relationship and ex-love, it is imperative that you do not sit in a dark room and sulk about what could have been.
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This is the time for you to come in touch with that person that should be most important to you … yourself. Now is the time to think about who you really are, where you want to be in life and what goals you want to achieve. In relationships, people tend to lose themselves. Now is the time to regain your identity.
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You are entitled to be sad or angry. But don’t let it overcome you. Allow yourself a few minutes a day if necessary to mourn and then move on to something else that is more productive for you. Yes this may seem easier said than done, but practice it and it will get easier with time.
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If your ex calls, don’t be desperate and don’t make yourself available for every request to meet. This will only delay your healing process if things are not meant to be. If you are meant to rekindle your relationship, practicing patience will make your relationship that much stronger.
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Don’t do things to get your ex jealous. This is not moving on. This is also a form of delaying your healing process and that is what you need to be focusing on.
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If you need to talk to a counselor about your sadness or anger, then do it and do not be ashamed about it. That is what the professionals are for, and you are not a “freak” or “mental” for doing so. A lot of people need this and they are better for it.
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Rely on your friends and family if you can. It is OK to lean on people who care about you until you are able to stand on your own two feet with confidence.
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Work on your self-esteem and do not take complete responsibility for the break-up of your relationship. The “woulda, coulda, shouldas” do nothing but bring you down further.
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Do try to learn from this relationship. Try to find one positive that you can walk away with. If you can feel like you have not wasted your time, you will be able to walk away easier.
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If your ex has moved on, try not to be bitter. Don’t sit around and wonder what the new person has that you don’t have. There may be nothing to compare. And this is a huge waste of time for you.
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Remember that not every relationship is meant to last forever and this is one of them. So hold your chin up, love who you are and you are going to become and know that someday someone will come along and appreciate you for you. You do not have to settle for anyone who cannot do this.
